In
bed, the introduction of ‘deep heat’ (muscular relief for left hip) and Nytol—(herbal
remedy) to help induce sleep has definitely improved my sleep pattern from January
remarks.
Because
I monitor myself so closely, I’m now seeing the alarming rate of deterioration. The simplest of little tasks can now be impossible
as spasticity creeps on, especially in the arms and hands. This means Jean has
had once again, to 'up' her caring workload. This is posing communication
problems, in that, my hand signs are deteriorating and not too easy for her to
get my meaning, but no doubt we will find a solution.
I’ve
always thought death as a result of MND would be because of respiratory failure. However my breathing is good, so I suspect I’m here for ‘the long haul’ — some
days up for the challenge, others debatable!
It is the core tiredness I feel and the concentrated effort one puts into the easiest of tasks that
on occasions become impossible, which then ends in frustration. I hope
readers can make sense of this, but it’s difficult to explain if one hasn’t
travelled in my long drawn out journey.
Finally,
by far my worst fear is that if I allow the mind to rule my thinking — this can very easily lead to agitation. This can then go
onto all sorts of dramas and I get irrational, not a good place to be!
This state of affairs has only happened on very rare occasions, but if ever a particular set of
upsetting circumstances occur, this is when I bring in the previous mentioned ‘mind over matter’ — which helps me avert the mind to more positive thoughts. To
date it usually works; other than when
hospitalised in November .
